“Is it too late now to say soooorry?" Thank you, Justin Bieber, for putting my post-date thoughts into words in a way that no one else could. I'm here today to attempt an explanation of what I like to call "second-date awkwardness." What is second-date awkwardness? If you're asking that question, can we go ahead and be friends? When I say “second-date awkwardness,” I am referring to the curious dating paradox that causes the second date always to be more awkward, uncomfortable, infuriating, and self-depreciating (okay, I’m done) than the first. In addition to my explanation, I’ve attempted to provide some tips to combat this horrid phenomenon. Okay, let’s get started.
Soooo.. You went on your first date with the man/woman of your dreams. Most likely you met for coffee, lunch, dinner, or something else simple that allowed you to perform a low key background check on this person (in addition to your extensive stalking via every social media platform). Herein lies the first source of awkwardness: what do you do on the second date? Here’s my tip: don’t repeat what you did the first time around. If you went for coffee, ask them to lunch. This will allow you to talk to them more, and will provide you with a greater analysis of their personality.
What do you talk about with them? My theory is this: first dates consist mostly of small talk. This small talk takes almost no effort, and most people can pull this off with no problem. What's your major? What do you want to do? Where is home for you? What do you do for fun? All of these are questions that are typically answered on the first date. The second one requires you to come up with real topics of conversation. It's where you begin to discover if your personalities are compatible, and that's what makes it uncomfortable. My advice: Use the information you learned through first-date small talk to fuel the conversation with meatier topics. Make a mental note of several things you found interesting on the first date, and follow up with them on the second date. The girl or guy will be impressed that you paid that much attention the first time around, and you'll be one step farther away from being friend-zoned (or ditched altogether).
Are you attracted to this person? This is another important question that is answered on the second date. What makes it awkward? You've likely been in communication with this person (phone calls, texting, DMs, what have you). It can be uncomfortable though since their intentions may be unclear. If you are having dinner, is this person expecting you to go home with them afterward (wink)? Is that what you honestly want? My suggestion: Don't feel bad for saying no to a physical relationship at this point. No one can be upset with you if you say no on the second date. If that person holds it against you and doesn't ask you out again, you can assume he or she wasn't right for you. On the other hand, if you're both down for taking it to the next level at this point, more power to you.
At this point, I feel that I have hit the most important aspects to keep in mind. Second dates will ALWAYS be awkward for one reason or another. Just remember: it’s only awkward if you make it awkward. I know it may be cliché, but just have fun and be yourself. If your date isn’t cool with what you’ve got to offer, then you’re with the wrong person.
What's some additional second date advice you have to offer?