Women and Money in Relationships: The Issues with Women Allowing Men to Give Them Money
Growing up, I have heard women share many different rules on how to interact with the opposite sex. Some of these rules included letting the phone ring a few times before answering (so you don’t look desperate), making sure he drops whatever he’s doing just for you (even if it’s not urgent), and always making sure to keep your options open (because according to some women you have to see who has the best offer and drop the “weakest link”). Hearing some of the rules women set always left me rolling my eyes while saying to myself, “Ohhhhhh, I wish I had a remote so I could put this person on mute!”
While many of these rules are extremely silly to me, there’s one rule that women have stressed that really gets under my skin, which basically says that women should expect their boyfriends/husbands to either give them money or buy them anything they want. Surprisingly, many women today believe that this rule should be enforced to ensure a successful “happily ever after” relationship. However, what women don’t realize is there are two major issues that arise if they give this absurd rule their attention.
The first issue that arises is that a woman’s independence is at jeopardy. Now, hear me out. There’s nothing wrong with giving money to someone to be generous or to buy a gift out of the goodness of your heart. But come on! Have we not learned anything from Destiny’s Child’s song, “Independent Women?” A woman should buy things herself and work hard to be successful at her job, not work hard to burn a hole in her man’s wallet. Whether women want to believe it or not, many men believe that giving women money and/or materialistic things, makes him superior over them. With our society constantly creating double-standards, disrespecting women and portraying them as sex objects, do women really want to add superiority to the list? If a woman needs help financially due to losing a job or something of that nature, I see nothing wrong with a man providing a helping hand. After all, a relationship is 50/50 and each person should be willing to help one another if needed. But giving someone money to buy expensive shoes, to go on vacation, or to pay bills just because a woman refuses to use her own money, should not be a requirement for anyone to fulfill.
The second issue with this rule is that it applies unnecessary pressure to men. Many men go to great lengths to keep a smile on their wife/girlfriend’s faces. If they feel like money is the major factor in the relationship, they will work hard to make sure they never run out of green paper. Financial stability is something many people look at when it comes to choosing their significant other (which is normal). We don’t want someone who refuses to work and expects to mooch off of someone else. However, money should not be at the center of a relationship. One should not have to worry about losing someone because they are having financial problems. A relationship should be based on love, support, kindness, respect, and accepting someone for who they are. Money cannot buy happiness and just because someone has tons of money, doesn’t always mean that they are a good person. How many times have we heard of women being abused by wealthy men? Way too many times.
It irritates me that many women creates rules like this in order to train their boyfriends/husbands to be the man that they want them to be. While women should never settle for anything less, this doesn’t give them the right to create ridiculous rules for a man to follow. If you truly love the person, then you wouldn’t be focused on the materialistic things. Additionally, if there are issues that arise in the relationship, females should be strong women and confront the issues head-on instead of playing mind games on their significant other. If that person is not willing to meet you halfway, then it’s obviously a sign that this person wasn’t right for you in the first place. We have to understand that we cannot change someone who doesn’t want to be changed.
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About the author:
Naomi Stamps is a senior at the University of Georgia, who is majoring in English. She enjoys writing stories, poems, and articles that all have thoughtful messages for any reader to benefit from. She looks forward to graduating soon and becoming a successful writer one day.